I have been with my husband for 9+ years, married for 2. Back in March, I caught him texting and he later admitted it was a girl from work, but harmless.
I tried to move passed it, but the fact that he had kept trying to hide it didnt sit well. As the month progressed, he eventually admitted that they had dinner together at work…they both work together. Then eventually admitted to kissing that time at dinner. Said it was a one time thing.
We agreed to move forward, but he never truly apologized or put in effort to make amends. Granted, he was a bit more affectionate, but I needed words. He said he was having a hard time communicating so I tried to be patient. Fast forward to yesterday, I looked at his phone for the first and only time since we agreed to move on…and saw that they were still texting. I called him a liar and left the party we were at together. He didnt come home, stayed at a friends.
Today he finally told me that they had seen each other much more than he let on and they kissed a bunch of times. Both at work and outside of work. He said they recently started things up again. He told me it was all just kissing and never went to anything more, but its hard to believe anything when he keeps just dropping these bombs on me instead of being upfront with everything from the start.
We agreed space was needed, so he packed his bags and left like it was nothing. I feel completely sick and spiraling. In March, I could barely get out of bed. I lost almost 10 lbs in a week bc I couldnt eat from the stress and heartbreak.
I am at a total loss. I want us to work, I love him so much. I thought i had a fairytale marriage, everyone who met him thought he was so genuine and kind and I feel so blindsided by it all. Before it happened, we were in a decent place. I am having fertility issues, so that put some stress on our relationship, but nothing to the point that I would have seen an affair coming. We own a home and a dog together. I would have to move back home if we separate. My entire life will be ripped from under me. I feel so pathetic for wanting him to just fight for me and our marriage. I just dont know what to do. I feel naive and worthless sitting here remaining hopeful he will realize what hes losing, but I just dont know anymore. please help.
I feel like I am spiraling, again. When I found out in march, I couldn’t eat. Could barely get out of bed. And I feel i am back there. How do i move forward and trust him when he goes to work?? I want so badly to survive this, but I feel so completely lost.