I hope you know how he likes his eggs. I hope he showed you how he likes to cuddle in bed at night. How he isn’t very confrontational, or so he says, but he loves to pick a fight.
I hope you know he’s destroyed my life, and my son’s life, all for you. He’ll probably give you his mother’s ring, the same one he gave me, not very long ago.
I hope you like the church he goes to, and how hypocritical he is even though he claims to be a godly man. I hope you go to church with him on Sunday, because I wouldn’t. I hope you can sit through every family gathering at the same overpriced restaurant, and know when and how to speak to his family. I hope you know he doesn’t like it when you don’t text back immediately, because if you’re too preoccupied to text him, you must be cheating.
I hope he tells you all his secrets and lets you read his prayer journal. He probably has some bullsh*t in there about how he’s trying desperately to save our marriage even though he’s been f’king you since before we were even married. I hope you aren’t too opinionated, he hates that.
I hope you never cut your hair or lose a little bit of weight, because he hates that too. He only sleeps on the left side of the bed so get used to being by the wall. Enjoy outings with his mother, who’ll beg you to leave him because he’ll only break your heart and lead you on.
I hope you know you lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. Trying to be perfect all the time is f’king exhausting. I hope you can do it. I hope you enjoy being yelled at when you don’t answer the phone after the first ring and having sh*t thrown at you from across the room because things don’t go his way. I hope you are prepared.
But most of all, thank you for convincing him to leave. The toxicity and resentment was taking a toll on me, mentally and emotionally. I can not thank you enough for your help. Thank you for convincing him to file for divorce. We have no property or kids together, so it should be a breeze. Thank you. If you hadn’t been there for him, who knows. I may have been stuck with the bastard for life. I’m not mad he cheated on me with you. I’m sad. Sad that he’ll put another woman through his miserable bullsh*t, all in the name of “love”.
I hope you know what you’re getting into. Best of luck.