My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. He is an incredible person, and many of my friends tell me that he’s a great catch. He was very into me, and did much of the chasing in the early days of our relationship. About 3 months after we started dating, he said “I love you”.
I said it back. I was genuinely in love with him. This is the first time in my life I felt this kind of love.
He has an ex-girlfriend [25F] who he dated for 4 years before they broke up 3 years ago because of their busy schedules. He dated another girl for 1.5 years afterwards, and then me. He and his first ex are still friends, according to him they are just close friends now.
They are busy and dont live in the same city so he almost never sees her. Once, the 3 of us plus her new BF went for dinner together. She was nice to me, very beautiful woman, charming, smart. The kind to turn every head in the room.
I always had this terrible suspicion that maybe my BF still had feelings for her, but he always reassured me when I voiced my concerns to him. We can talk to each other about anything and I appreciate that.
Last week, he said his ex and her boyfriend were in town again and they invited us to brunch. I thought nothing of it and went. At the brunch, his ex mentioned that she and her BF were engaged. This really threw off my BF. His mood just suddenly changed. After the brunch, I noticed him taking her aside and whispering something.
The whole week, my BF seemed to be in a bad mood. Yesterday morning, I found my BF drinking shots at the kitchen counter. He looked as if he hadn’t slept all night. I asked him what was wrong. He shrugged. I asked him if it was about his ex, because he had been off ever since he saw her.
He said yes. He told me that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her and the smile on her face when she showed off her new ring. “Its funny because I always thought that she’d be wearing my ring.” I was stunned. He continued. “Dont you have a man who you thought was “the one who got away?”
He asked if he could be honest with me. He told me that he still loved her. That he had always loved her. But he said at the end something about fate and how he had to move on and that he had to focus on us right now. That his ex was a thing of the past. Still, I was devastated. I appreciated his honesty and understand he was drunk, but wow, it hurt.
Im crying in my room and i dont know what to do. I feel like my heart has just been stomped on. My fears have been validated. My bf is only with me because he can’t have his ex. Where do I even go from here.